St. Louis August 2009

Traveling and Expectations

To be perfectly honest, I wasn't really expecting to be impacted so much on this trip. In fact, right before we left, I was just glad to get away from family. That was my number one priority.

I would say the trip wasn't like I expected, but truth is... I had few expectations. I think my only expectation is that I would go there for a week, maybe add a few friends on Facebook, and then head home. That was about it.

I also expected showers. We left Saturday (August 1) right after ReChurch, and we arrived in St. Louis on Sunday afternoon. We slept in the church van at a rest stop. We took showers on Saturday morning, but we weren't able to shower again until Monday afternoon. Sure, the shower was lukewarm and the water pressure was terrible, but it was Heaven to me. (Sleeping on the floor after sleeping in the van was also wonderful!)

New Life

Our group was split in half for the missions sites. I was with Becky, Vania, Liz, and some people from Iowa. On Monday and Tuesday we went to the largest homeless shelter in St. Louis. Most of our time was spent organizing and cleaning their free store. There were piles of shoes, some donated without mates. There were t-shirts and hats that hadn't been washed and broken toys.

On Monday, a lady was there looking for an outfit to wear to a friend's funeral. On Tusday, another young woman was there "buying" pink toys and outfits for her little girl. A free clothing store wouldn't be the first...or even second or third place I would look to find a nice outfit, and it broke my heart when I saw the lady grab a pink one-eyed teddy bear for her daughter.

We spent Monday afternoon in the men's sleeping quarters cleaning. These men were sleeping in beds with rat poop and pee underneath the mattresses. It was disguisting, and when I cleaned I realized how desperate some of these people must be. I would rather sleep in the uncomfortable church van than one of those beds.

I hope that little girl loves her one-eyed teddy bear.

Tandy Center

I'll admit it. After spending a couple days sorting clothes in the hot muggy shelter, this hardly felt like work....well, aside from listening to Leroy's crazy stories.

Unfortunately, Wednesday morning started out in the gym where Leroy tried to make us "athleticable." Yeah...he kinda failed there. Anybody who knows me knows that gym and Idon't mix...and I certainly do not do those group dance things (like the "Cha Cha Slide"). Fortunately, I was able to play the foot card there and sit out near the end. :-).

After the gym on Wednesday and all morning on Thursday, we played on the playground with the kids. I think Thursday was a lot more fun. We spent the morning posing for pictures (and by "we" I mean "they). Then, a few of us stayed behind while most went off to play kickball.

While we were hanging out on the playground, two little boys walked up behind me. I turned my head and they shrieked. That was my cue. I stood up and started to chase them around the playground. One of the boys decided that he was going to chase me instead, and on one occasion he grabbed my arm and slobbered on it. I just wiped it on my shirt and kept going. The second time he grabbed me, he dug his nails into my elbow. Ouch!

Thursday afternoon was spent playing with my waterproof camera in the pool. Definitely a lot of fun...especially when I learned I was more successful in avoiding being in pictures than I thought. I even avoided being in a picture that I tried to get in.

I didn't really feel like I was accomplishing anything. I mean, taking pictures with kids and chasing them around? That's something I do regularly on Friday nights. It's nothing special or out of the ordinary...and it certainly didn't feel like work.

I got to thinking about the message I wrote for youth Sunday on the Message translation of that morning's theme verse. "Teach...with your life." The whole message was about how we set an example no matter what...it's making sure we set the right kind of example that matters most. It didn't matter that I didn't feel like I had accomplished anything...because the truth is, I probably did accomplish something. Those kids probably had the time of their lives taking pictures underwater.

Foot Washing

Thursday night at club we had our footwashing ceremony, and I think that impacted me more than anything. Our small group gathered in a circle...and we kept going long after the other (larger) groups were done. That's a Pentacostal youth group for you!

Somewhere, in the middle of everything, I started to cry.

I don't cry. It takes a lot for me to break down crying...so much that I actually start crying and then I just stop suddenly before crying again.

I went over to pray with Becky for Vania for a few minutes before I kinda went and sat on the floor. I wanted to cry some more...for my friend and for myself. But I couldn't. I was completely drained.

I guess it didn't occur to me that anybody could here me, but I just closed my eyes and started to sing a little song that I wrote in Wal-Mart last year. I just kept singing it over and over, and I kept going even when I realized that some of the kids from the Iowa group came over to join us.

I don't even remember singing like that even alone in years. For a few minutes or so, I completely broke down those walls.

I found out later that Vania wanted to stop praying when she heard me sing...she couldn't believe it was me singing. Honestly, neither could I. Just a few days before...heck that afternoon I was uncomfortable talking with the people in my crew...but that evening some of those same people got to hear me sing. Some of my closest friends haven't even heard me sing.

It's ironic that our theme for the week was "Free" because I've had the song "Free" by Ginny Owens stuck in my head all day. It fits me SO well right now.

Turning molehills into mountains,

Making big deals out of small ones,

Bearing gifts as if they're burdens

This is how it's been.

Fear of coming out of my shell,

Too many things I can't do too well,

Afraid I'll try real hard and I'll fail -

This is how it's been.

Till the day you pounded on my heart's door,

And you shouted joyfully,

"You're not a slave anymore"

You're free to dance-

Forget about your two left feet

And you're free to sing-

Even joyful noise is music to me

And you're free to love,

Cause I've given you My love,

and it's made you free

I have set you free