The Ellie Letters: Take Off that Diaper and Grow Up

So, let's see. The last time I saw you was in fourth grade. It's the end of your senior year now, so I guess that means it's been what? Eight years since I last saw you?

Honestly, I can't say I missed you that much. I mean, it's not like we were such great friends or anything. We were in a few classes together. Kindergarten, second grade... now, was it third grade or fourth grade that you managed to switch classes even though my mom was told that they could not change my class? I think that might have been the same year (or perhaps a year before) that your mom flipped out at mine because you weren't the first to be invited to tie-dye t-shirts for Field Day (our grade's theme was the 1960s).

We were never friends, but I'm gullible. We got back in contact with each other about two years ago. That's six years of not seeing or hearing from you. How silly of me to think that you would have changed?

Look, I'm sorry that I don't respond to your text messages immediately. Sometimes, I get busy. Sometimes, the messages don't even send. Things like that happen, but I see no reason to overreact. I have enough drama in my life without having to deal with an eighteen-year-old who gets so overworked about me replying to a text message the next day. I mean, not that you would care or anything, but I actually decided not to reply to any of my texts that evening because things came up, and later on I was too upset about some things that happened while I was out. I didn't want to pull anybody into it. It's a shame that came back to hurt me.

So, let me refresh your memory. Thursday evening, I sent you (and about 20-30 other people) a quick text message. Then, a few things came up. I guess it was later that night (or perhaps the following morning...I didn't sleep at all that night) that you sent me a text message upset that I didn't reply back to your previous text immediately. I apologized, but you continued to be overdramatic. So, I sent you a text message apologizing (again) for not responding immediately, and to inform you that I decided to delete you from my Facebook friend's list. You said that I should delete everyone else from our elementary school because you constantly get together and make fun of the "stupid crap" on my Facebook.

So, it's been eight years since I last saw you, and at least two or three years since I've seen anybody else from our elementary school. I haven't lived in the same state as any of you in almost five years. You've been picking on me since I was seven. I'm nearly eighteen now. That's more than ten years of being teased, and I've spent nearly half that time in a different state. Is there nothing better to do than spend your time making fun of someone you haven't seen in so long? That's pretty pathetic, if you ask me. (And, yet, you claim nobody will insult me directly because you all have "lives." That's so sad, I don't know whether to laugh or cry.)

You know, looking back on it, I think I may have been a little too quick to delete you, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken my anger towards some other people out on you. But that doesn't give you any excuse to go and treat me like crap.

And I'm not sure if I know your friend, who I have nicknamed "McDiddle Brains." She's too much of a chicken to admit her real identity to me, isn't she? She seems just as "mature" as you do. Sending me text messages accusing me of having sex with multiple people, calling me a stupid high school dropout, a fat pig, etc.

What are you trying to do? Prove you haven't grown up since fourth grade?

I hate to break it to you...actually, no, I'm very glad to say that I don't care what you think about me. Does being called a "fat piece of [poop]" hurt? Heck yeah! But I know that what you say doesn't really matter in the end. Your opinion means nothing because I know the only crap here is not me, but what you are saying about me.

You really disgust me. Can't you just take that diaper off and grow up a little?

You can't break me anymore.

-Ellie

God I want to dream again
Take me where I've never been
I want to go there
This time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable
It's unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me

-Fireflight ("Unbreakable")

This letter was written to an ex-friend from elementary school based on a recent event in my life. It's one of the first "Ellie Letters" that is not based in the past. The title of this letter was inspired by my friend Alex P.