The Ellie Letters: I'll Never Be Good Enough

Does this make you happy? Do you like to get under my skin?

When I'm at a high, do you like knowing what it takes to bring me down?

Do you like knowing that I never feel like I'm enough. No matter how hard I try, I won't be good enough. I've been rejected, and you've made it clear that it's my fault. I'm to blame for my problems...even if I had no control over the situation.

I'm tired of this. I'm tired of striving and struggling when I'll never amount to anything in the end.

Who I am doesn't really matter, does it? My dreams. My interests. They were only important for a short time, but I'm older now. I need to wake up and move on from these dreams I have.

You say I'm not "normal." The way I think is not "normal."

What the heck do you know about normal?

And what do you even know about me?

I take a risk to try to get help so that I can try to become "normal," but you claim this is all my fault. That I'm not trying.

And maybe I'm not trying anymore. But can you blame me?

After all, I'll never be good enough for you.

-Ellie